Snip Snap: A World Vasectomy Day Blog

Hello everyone, I hope you all are having a great fall season. If you are not aware November 15th will be World Vasectomy Day. 

So what is a vasectomy? It is where they cut off your baby makers with a rusty pair of scissors and sacrifice them to the feminist witch queen of the underworld? Okay, I might be [slightly] exaggerating. It is a completely safe male contraceptive procedure that is done with local anesthesia. 

Indigenous Women Rising believes you, no matter your gender identity or race or socioeconomic class, are free to choose to do whatever you want with your body. For me, I made the decision to get a vasectomy. As with anything else in life, you should do your own research and choose what is best for yourself. For me, that was getting a vasectomy. I would like to go through my own personal mindset and reasoning as to why I choose to be a hero (lolz, /s).     

The first reason I decided to go through with the vasectomy is pretty obvious: I hate kids. Totally kidding! I have two really wonderful kids and I’m everyone’s favorite uncle. My kids are a major reason why I decided that I was done. Raising children can be a challenge for many reasons, and not all of them are difficult or negative but the challenges did make me think. I know people have made it work for them and I am not judging at all. Please keep in mind these are just my thoughts and were just some of the hypotheticals going on in my head. 

Am I going to be financially secure enough to provide for them and not pass that financial stress on to them? Raising kids is expensive. I want to make sure that I can give them a comfortable life and that I do it myself. I know my parents and family would be there to help but to me, raising children is my responsibility. I brought these little weirdos into the world so I should be responsible for making sure they are good, kind weirdos. 

Am I going to be able to spread the attention to each one? If I have more kids, do some feel left out? Even with the two kids I have, I notice that they do have different personalities, needs, wants, and interests. 

Do I unintentionally pass on some of those parenting responsibilities to my older children? In my opinion, that is not the children's responsibility to raise their siblings. 

If things don't work out with my wife and me in the future, (don't worry babe, you are still very much the spam to my potatoes ;)( ˘ ³˘)♥) and I do have children beyond that, how does that affect my first two children? I would prefer not to have my children emotionally deal with the dynamics of having a half sibling or a half sibling feel like they have to compete for my attention. I can control how I act but I cannot control how other people act or perceive my actions. 

Do I really wanna change diapers again? I loved the process of watching my kids grow. I didn't even mind changing their diapers, burping them, taking care of them when they were sick, or listening to them baby-splain Disney movies to me. As they get older I want to be present for them and give them all my attention. To me, the choice to get a vasectomy was in large part due to my children, as in I want to be thoughtful of them and their feelings. Please do not interpret this as blaming or shaming blended families- people are very different and in different situations.

Another strong reason for getting a vasectomy is my partner. Seeing firsthand the effort women and all birthing people have to go through for contraception is illogical to me: the shaming, doctors not believing women, and the racism, among many other things people shouldn’t experience in healthcare. 

I’m going to mansplain my understanding of what I have observed to other men: First off, the side effects for the pill, for example, can be headaches (when your head hurts inside), mood changes (like when you don't eat), breast tenderness (soreness in the boobs, like your calves after one game of basketball), nausea (like when you smell a nasty fart that makes you want to throw up), intermenstrual bleeding (what do you mean I don't get a paycheck this friday I always get a paycheck on friday), weight gain, acne, thrombus, decreased libido, high blood pressure, irregular menstruation, and missed periods. 

To give a more holistic picture of the surgical types of contraception, I’ll go over what I understand. Some short term side effects for tubal ligation (“getting your tubes tied”) are abdominal pain and cramping, nausea and vomiting, bloating and gas, fatigue, shoulder pain (due to the use of gas during laparoscopy), and vaginal bleeding or spotting. Long-term side effects can include increased risk of ectopic pregnancy (a rare but serious complication where the fertilized egg implants outside the uterus, typically in the fallopian tube. Pelvic pain, Some women experience chronic or intermittent pelvic pain after tubal ligation, although the exact cause is unclear. Menstrual changes, some women may experience heavier or more irregular periods after the procedure. Did you know there are psychological effects? A small number of women may experience regret or emotional distress after tubal ligation. It is also a more invasive procedure with more complications than a vasectomy. 

Some side effects from a vasectomy are: 

• chronic pain 

• sperm granuloma (when sperm leaks from the tube impacted by the vasectomy)

• infection 

• swelling 

• bleeding 

• fluid, buildup in the testicle

• scrotal hematoma (blood that gathers in scrotum) 

• hematospermia (blood in semen), epididymitis (coiled tube in the back of the scrotum) 

• failed vasectomy (yikes) 

• hematoma (bruising) 

• discoloration of the scrotum 

• post-vasectomy pain syndrome 

• bruising 

• chronic scrotal pain 

• fever 

• surgical site infection

These are all considered rare events. 

As for myself, I experienced some small pain following the procedure (which went pretty fast and I was out and about fairly quickly). It really wasn't that bad of a recovery. The plain fact is if you don't want kids anymore, having a vasectomy is clearly the better option (unless you are a weenie and can’t handle a little discomfort). So this is my small way in doing my part especially because women already go through so much and in today's political landscape, more and more restrictions are coming from our female and gender expansive relatives (but that’s why we have feminist witch queens). 

Okay. Now I will share some common as well some that might have been asked to me. No judgment on any of the questions. Whether someone is making a joke or whether it’s misconceptions, all questions are welcomed because it gives us a chance to educate each other. 

• (My favorite question) Do they cut your balls off? No, they do not cut off your balls, you get to keep the ugly things. All they do is cut and tie off the tube that carries the sperm. It does not change your testosterone. So you can still be manly or grow hair on your chest. It doesn't cut off the circulation and them grapes won't turn to raisins.  

• Okay den, where does sperm go? Well, it gets blocked off in the tube that was closed up and simply gets absorbed by your body. This is what happens even if you don't have a vasectomy. So no, your balls won't explode. 

• Does it affect your sex drive? Nope, all it does is block the sperm from being mixed with the ejaculate. It literally does not change anything you still get function the same way you did before. You will still have that yearning desire to hump a couch like JD Vance. Added benefit: it wont affect your libido like tubal ligation may. (cool, you pressured your lady into getting it now she doesn't wanna do it) “and who would have thought, it figures.” “Irony”- Alanis Morrissette

• What if I want to have kids later? You can do a few things:

  • Save sperm cells for future use. 

  • Get your tubes reattached. It should be noted that it isn't always successful and it is a more invasive procedure. So there are options available.

  • Not get a vasectomy

• What about my testosterone? It's made in my balls? Yes, you are correct, your balls do make testosterone but, It doesn't stop testosterone production and testosterone gets delivered through the bloodstream, so it's all good. 

• Did it hurt? I mean we have all been hit in the balls. The pain isn't even close to that. It is close to a little love tap on the balls- not enough to make you cry and roll on the floor, but just enough to be like, “Oh that tingles.” The discomfort didn't last long and there was nothing ibuprofen could not knock out. As I am writing this, I have the flu and would 100% take another vasectomy over dealing with this flu.

• Why can't your partner just tie her tubes? To me, this is about being considerate.  It is safer to have a vasectomy versus a tubal ligation. While both procedures have a chance of failing with a vasectomy all they need is a sperm sample to check again easier. 

Okay, I'm gonna end the blog with the procedure. 

• It started with a consultation with the doctor, where he asked if I had any questions about the procedure or if I was sure this was what I wanted. 

• Of course, I did my research and talked with my partner. Like I said, it isn't a light decision but if you are sure that you are done with kids then to me it is a clear case to get a vasectomy. 

• I got scheduled and prescribed a muscle relaxer for the day of reckoning. The total time was within an hour with the actual procedure taking maybe 15 minutes.

• Put on tighty whiteys for recommended recovery time (don’t really remember how long I wore them for) and a bag of ice. I remember the first day I sat around and played video games and watched movies. The second day I was getting antsy and actually took our dog out for a walk.

Thank you for reading!